Prologue
Sometimes in life, decisions can be a matter of life or death and Tyree was about to make a decision that could change his life forever. During the 1980s, Bedford-Stuyvesant was a neighborhood in Brooklyn NY that was a tough and very dangerous place to live. Crime was high, opportunities were low, and crack was king! Growing up and living around these circumstances can really taint a child’s outlook on life. Some even believed that they too would become a victim of crime or not live to see their 18th birthday. Drug dealers overran the neighborhood; and selling crack was their choice of drug at the time. It was easy & cheap to purchase and even easier to sell. Dealers would buy a “bird” (a slang term for kilogram of cocaine) and flip it to double their investment. They did this by cooking the cocaine up with baking soda and water until a clump was formed; then using a razor blade, they would cut little “rock” pieces from the cocaine clump and stuff the pieces inside small cylinder plastic tubes; capping them with red tops (the most popular color used at the time). Some would even get creative and name or use different colored caps to differentiate their crack vials from the competition. Names like “AK-47 “ & “Starship “ are just an example of very popular crack brands used to let “crackheads” (a name used to describe people who smoked crack) know which dealer they were buying from. Crackheads tend to regularly buy from certain dealers/brands due to the potency level of the crack being sold. It was always about that high; so whichever dealer/brand gave them that long lasting high, won their loyalty and their business. From experience or word of mouth, crackheads knew who sold the best and who sold the worst product. These crack vials became a reminder of how immense the crack epidemic was, because they were left and seen all over the neighborhood; in playgrounds, schoolyards, apartment building stairwells, and all over the city streets. It was always in your face, so you couldn’t escape it. Like most drugs, a lot of people tried crack due to the influence of friends or just out of curiosity; but with no true understanding of the powerful addictive properties in this new drug. They would get hooked so fast to this different and cheap high (crack was sold for $5 a vial) that they would do anything or give anything for that feeling again.
Families were torn apart by either members using or selling crack during the 80s & 90s. The users would lie, cheat, steal (mostly from family and friends) and even kill to get that high. The women would give up their bodies and do unspeakable acts (i.e. selling their babies or pimping out their children) if they couldn’t pay. They did whatever they had to do, no matter the cost, no matter the consequence…which sometimes meant disappearing for days and leaving their children to fend for themselves at home. The older siblings usually raised the younger siblings by being the parental figure. They would cook, clean and discipline when and if necessary. Some of these children were subjected to living in filth, either due to the bad conditional state of the apartment (wear & tear and lack of repairs) or just to tenant neglect. It was normal seeing paint peeling from the walls, water stains on the ceiling because of leaky pipes, aroma of dead mice stuck in the walls, dirty dishes in the sink, garbage overflowing from trash cans, garments thrown or left around the apartment, dirty floors and furniture, broken or damaged appliances and an uncontrollable roach infestation within some of these apartments. Of course there were some parents who were present but absent mentally and deficient financially. These conditions really affected a child’s psyche and mental wellbeing. Children growing up not having loving & stable environment that other kids had, sometimes made them feel inadequate and insecure and unloved; not being able to have nice clothes or new sneakers or the newest toys, they felt ashamed and were sometimes ostracized by their peers. To add to their misery, due to the neglect of their parents some children reeked of bad body odor, sported nappy or uncombed hair and salvaged clothing & shoes; which would make them a target for name calling, teasing and bullying by other children. This made the choice for some kids easier to become a member of a drug gang. They were sold on the lifestyle by seeing the fancy cars, the nice clothes and the expensive jewelry the dealers wore and paraded around the neighborhood. The dealers were admired and looked up to like superstars by the younger kids in the neighborhood and the dealers took advantage of their “rock star” status. It was common for dealers to seek out young boys to work in their Drug Crews, especially since they were naïve, poor and too young to prosecute if caught by the police. These boys were hired as lookouts, couriers, or corner sellers. Some were also recruited and used to commit murders against rival crews or against anyone who challenged or was a threat to the growth of their drug enterprise. Given their home environment wasn’t a desirable living situation; to them, this was their best and only opportunity to provide for their families and themselves; as well as build up their street reputation. A strong street rep in the community was important to most because it meant not being afraid or concerned about “beef” or confrontations in the community where they lived. People were either afraid or respected you, so the chances of any issues or problems were unlikely. In some cases, a person’s rep would extend to other neighborhoods or boroughs. The real danger mostly came from rival crews who wanted another dealer’s territory and customer base; or just wanted to increase their own rep. Drug crews were notorious for striking fear on the streets they controlled through intimidation and violence. Due to the frequent murders, shootings and crime in the neighborhood, Bed-Stuy was tagged with the term “Do or Die”. It really was survival of the fittest where only the strong survived…and not just physically strong but mentally as well. Common sense and street-smarts (experience & knowledge about how to navigate the dangers of street life) were needed to help you navigate and survive the mean streets long enough to make it out of the hood alive…or sometimes just plain old luck would suffice. During this era, growing up and escaping this particular environment unscathed was nearly impossible. Everyone was affected in one way or another. Friends, family or just someone you knew at some point will fall victim to drugs, crime, prison or death. This was the reality of the people who lived in neighborhoods like Bed-Stuy. Sometimes you’re put in a position to make a decision that could alter your life for the better or the worst, and that’s only if you’re given a choice. Being robbed at gun point, being targeted by individuals or groups for assaults, women being molested or raped and senseless murders were a daily occurrence; so you had to be vigil and smart about not putting yourself in a situation where something bad could happen to you. These decisions/choices would help increase your chances of survival…living to tell the tale.
CHAPTER 1
Tyree was 12yrs old and lived on Lafayette Ave, not too far from the notorious Marcy Houses also known as “Marcy Projects”. Marcy was a breeding ground for gangs, drugs and violence; and was made famous by references by the rapper Jay-Z in many of his songs. But despite the apparent danger, Tyree visited Marcy Projects daily to see his cousin and best friend Ricky. Ricky was a year older than Tyree and they shared a kindred spirit which made them more like brothers than cousins. They spent a lot of time together while growing up; creating & sharing everyday life experiences with one another that strengthen their bond. During a routine visit to Marcy one a hot summer day, Tyree went to a corner grocery store (aka “Bodega”) to buy one of his favorite lunch meals…a beef patty w/cheese and a grape “quarter water” (plastic barrel-shaped container containing flavored water drinks priced at $.25). It wasn’t unusual for guys to be hanging out in front of a Bodega, so this day was no different. As Tyree exited the store, one of the guys standing outside said “Yo little man, come here…let me ask you something.” Tyree was now a little worried because usually in this scenario, you’re about to either get assaulted or robbed or both. So he was apprehensive about entertaining the man’s question. His first thought was to run, but he then thought they’ll catch him and the beating would be worst. So to stall until he made his decision Tyree answered “Who, are you talking to me?” As thoughts started to race though his head; the man said “yeah you, let me talk to you for a sec.” Tyree decided to listen to what the man had to say; at least if something happened he’ll be in front of the Bodega where they can call 911 if necessary. As Tyree approached the man, he noticed the guy was well-groomed, wearing black Cazals glasses, a white tank top, black Adidas track pants, white Adidas sneakers with fat black laces, a Kangol beret hat, and gold jewelry (a thick rope chain and a 2 fingered ring)…a pager was clipped onto his waist band. Then it dawned on Tyree that this guy most likely was a drug dealer. When Tyree finally approached him, the guy asked, “hey, do you want to make some money, I have a job for you if you’re interested.” Tyree was relieved, because now he knows he’s not in any danger. Although he wasn’t at all tempted by the same trappings as a lot of other kids in the neighborhood, Tyree still had a tough decision to make. Not knowing what to do, Tyree responded with “I don’t know; I have to think about it”…hoping his answer was enough to satisfy the man’s question. But the guy wanted an answer now and seemed annoyed that Tyree didn’t say yes right away. The guy said “listen, I have a job for you right now so I want to know if you’d do it or not? Don’t you want to put some money in your pocket? Buy yourself some new clothes and kicks (a slang term for sneakers)? Look, this could be yours…” He pulls out a big wod (a large roll or stack) of cash to show Tyree; thinking it’ll be enough to convince him to join his crew. Tyree went over the pros & cons in his head. He knew accepting his offer would mean instant street credibility, the protection of the crew, money & girls. Yes girls! The neighborhood girls loved being with the drug crews because they had money to give and spend on them; as well as the fancy cars to ride around in. It’s very understandable why so many youths made the decision to join these crews…the temptations can be irresistible. But there was also the bad side to being a member; you would officially be labeled a drug dealer and you and your family could become targets for rival crews; or you could get caught by the police and be sentenced to serve a lengthy prison term. Not to mention it will just break his mother’s heart.
Tyree made up his mind but wasn’t sure how the dealer would react to his answer; so instead of saying no, he said “I can’t work for you today but maybe some other time.” Tyree knew he would never choose to become a drug dealer but he also knew not to upset or get on the wrong side of one either. So he felt his answer was the best way to get out of the situation without getting the dealer to dislike him. The guy said “ok, let me know when you’re ready to make this money, you know where to find me.” Tyree walked away and couldn’t wait to get to Ricky’s house to tell him what had just happened. He was in disbelief that he was just asked to become a member of a drug crew; to be involved with selling drugs. After that day, Tyree never saw that guy again. It made him wonder, what happened to him? Did he move away? Or was he arrested or even worst murdered? Whatever his fate, Tyree was proud that he was smart enough to make the right decision. The wrong answer could’ve changed his life forever; taking him down a different path in life which could’ve lead to a life of crime involving drugs, guns, murder and arrests. His affiliation with a drug crew could’ve lead to his own death as well. So from that point on, Tyree knew his destiny was in his hands and it was up to him to continue making the right choices; to improve his character and also make the quality of his life better. Living in a community of crime and violence was his reality and there was no hiding from it. This realization increased his desire to succeed and make it out of the hood; escape both mentally and physically.
After pondering a solution for a few days, Tyree created a plan he’d follow to help achieve his goals and not fall prey to the same urban trappings as some of his peers. situations would arise where he’d have to make life altering decisions. The pressure was always strong to fit into a particular group or to be perceived as “cool” like: smoking cigarettes or weed, drinking alcohol, cutting or dropping out of school, being rebellious and even having sex (and sometimes without protection). Girls were every guy’s weakness, but you had to be very careful about whom you slept with; and choosing to wear condoms when you did have intercourse. The dangers of having sex were not only contracting a disease but also having a baby with someone you don’t want to be with; someone you don’t want to be the mother of your child. If you did, you’d be stuck with the person until your child’s 18th birthday (So choose wisely). Even as early as 12 years old, Tyree was smart enough to be afraid of sex and know the troubles that it could cause. Sex had the ability to complicate matters and make life difficult. It could make you think you were in love with someone but really you were only in lust. It could make you say and do things you never thought you’d do or say. It could make you turn a blind eye or deaf hear to things you saw or heard. Adults can sometimes still struggle with separating sex from love, so imagine teenagers. It’s difficult to know the difference at any young age; experience will be your best teacher.
Fear is the one emotion that can keep people in check…stop you from doing a lot of things you shouldn’t do. People without fear can be a danger to themselves and the people around them. In Tyree’s case, fear was a good thing. He wasn’t fortunate enough to have a male figure or any figure in his life that could pass along important and vital life lessons…like most young boys growing up in his generation; they had to learn on their own or they learned from each other. It was very common for boys to get most of their information about life from movies, music, books and other sources. There was the occasional elder neighborhood statesman who tried to educate the youth about life and how things were back in the day when he grew up, but most of the time the kids never listened; they always thought they knew everything, but some people can only learn life lessons the hard way. Tyree on the other hand learned that it’s best to not always learn from experience but from other people’s experiences and mistakes. He felt it would save him the agony and consequences that may result from making bad choices. Tyree’s older brother Gilbert was known for getting into trouble and always making bad decisions. It got so bad that the family created a saying, “don’t be a Gil” or “that was such a Gil move” to emphasize what a bad thing you did or said.
Tyree was at the stage in his life that he wanted to ensure that he was going to be the best person and the best man he could be; so he decided to incorporate the traits and characteristics he felt would achieve this goal. So to remind himself and practice these traits, he created a list on how he should always conduct himself on a daily basis.
Traits of a Real Man
Be Honest
Be Loyal
Show Trustworthiness
Be Responsible
Show Maturity
Be Expressive
Be Affectionate
Be Respectful
Be Confident
Be Humble
Be Strong
Be Compassionate
Be Considerate
Be focused
Stay Positive
Be Family Oriented
Be a Provider
Be Loving
Be a Protector
Be a Leader
Always Work Hard!
Growing Into a Man: 